By Roz Koff
Unigo Campus Rep. at UW-Madison
Nov. 1, 2008
10. Never sit down at a football game. The entire crowd will turn to you, and point at you, and yell “asshole” repeatedly.
9. Never wear the other team’s jersey. It is easier said than done – especially with friends who attend other Big Ten schools. The “asshole”-ing will occur.
8. Don’t waste your money on a white jersey. You have to wear red – not enough red and you’re dead.
7. Do all of the dances. They are what make our games better than everyone else’s.
6. Do not get too drunk. You become a part of a “show and blow” program where your tickets are programmed so that every time you enter a game you have to take a sobriety test. And if for no other reason, you will never be able to sell your tickets to anyone else, because they then become part of the program by default.
5. It is best to step OFF of the bleachers before proceeding to “jump around” during the third quarter break. There are too many possibilities for injury otherwise.
4. Do not pretend to know the cheers and chants if you don’t actually know them. You WILL get called out.
3. Don’t over count the number of push-ups Bucky does. It’s the number on the scoreboard labeled “points.”
2. Don’t feel awkward about putting your arm around the stranger next to you. It’s part of our oldest tradition – deal with it.
1. Appreciate the band for what they are. While half-time performances are not quite their specialty, they are nationally acknowledged for their hazing. Show them some love.